Big Funny Jokes

1. I have moss growing:
A) In my garden
B) In my bathroom
C) In my kitchen
D) On my teeth
2. When I open my mouth at parties, people:
A) Listen
B) Ease away slowly
C) Stuff a live weasel down my throat
3. I think computers are:
A) Uninteresting
B) Interesting
C) Too damn small for the stuff I want to do
4. I think sheep [...]

A woman wakes up, in the middle of the night and notice that her husband isn’t laying besides her. She walks downstairs, to look for him. After a while she finds him, sitting in the kitchen, with a cup of coffee.
Her husband seems to be deep thought and just stares down on the table. He [...]

Joe has been in the computer business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in the countryside, as far from humanity as possible.
Joe sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After [...]

You probably know that we say he or she, about some things around us. However, did you know why? Probably not, so here is the list of why certain things are males or females.
Freeze Bag: Are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
Photocopiers: Are of course females. Once they’re [...]

It’s Saturday morning and John’s just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So John heads back to the clubhouse and phones home.
“Hello?” says a girl’s voice.
“Hi, sugar, it’s Daddy,” [...]

A lawyer married a woman, that had been married and divorced ten times.
The wedding was a great success and on their wedding night, they got undressed and crawled into their bed. Then the bride said, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”
“What?” said the groom, truly amazed and continued, “How can that be if you’ve [...]

A mother was cleaning her son’s bedroom one day and under the bed she finds a stack of really bizarre S&M magazines.
Shocked, she grab the magazines and goes to her husband and show them, to him.
“Well?”, she says upset, “What should we do!?”
The husband thinks for a moment, before he says, “Well, I’m not completely [...]

My computer has been acting very strange, lately, taking forever to start up and surfing the net has been very slow. So I decided to talk to my neighbors kid, that is 12 and has a bedroom that looks like the control center that NASA use.
I came over this morning and after some clicks and [...]

Last Day For Registration: June 15th, 2008
Difficulty Level: Very complex
Participants/Class: Max 8 due to the high difficulty level
Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays: Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll: Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 [...]

Bill Clinton, was out on his morning jog when he spots a hooker, in a corner. As he passes her he quickly says, “Twenty bucks?”, with a big smile.
“No way,” she the hooker answers and looks away.
The following morning Bill is jogging with his wife Hillary and they pass the same hooker on the street.
Then [...]